


What We Are

by EmmaArthur (EchoBleu)



Series: Every Chance We Get [3]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Alternate Universe, Autism, Autistic Parker, Blind Character, Blind Eliot, Canon Autistic Character, Disabled Character, Episode Tag, Friendship, Gen, The Stork Job, autistic Eliot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-04-22 18:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22199998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoBleu/pseuds/EmmaArthur
Summary: Parker is overwhelmed after Serbia. Eliot knows what to do.
Relationships: Alec Hardison & Parker & Eliot Spencer
Series: Every Chance We Get [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1058099
Comments: 10
Kudos: 101





	What We Are

**Author's Note:**

> This is set during season one, just after The Stork Job, and in this series after To Live Another Day.
> 
> [autistic meltdown]

From the moment they give the children over to the World Health Organization workers at the Hungarian border, Parker becomes insufferable. She spends the ride to Budapest and the two international flights, including the whole twelve-hour transatlantic flight home, in a state of painful over-excitement. By the time they get to the office, not having seen a bed for over forty-eight hours, the others are exhausted and completely fed up with her.

Eliot feels overloaded himself. Airports, like any big crowded public places, are terribly hard to navigate, forcing him to trust other people to guide him, and he has not had a minute to himself since they started the job. It has been an emotional job as well, as anything involving children in bad situations ought to be. The combination of arms dealers and children trafficking has brought memories to Eliot's mind that he would rather forget, and it being in Belgrade had him truly worried for a while that it was linked to his own dark past. Thankfully, it has turned out to be completely unrelated. Serbia has more than enough bad stories to go around.

“More bubbles,” Parker is saying. “Welcome aboard. You must fasten your seatbelt.”

Eliot recognizes the last two sentences as the part of the plane announcement they heard hours ago. Parker's unending flow of words stopped making any kind of sense somewhere over the Atlantic ocean. Nate repeatedly snapped at her to shut up, but she only got up to skip up and down the aisles until the flight attendant asked her, in a more annoyed tone every time, to sit back down. Hardison put his noise-canceling headphones on and simply ignored her, but Eliot had to endure sitting beside her and listening to her chatter, all the while knowing there is nothing he could do to calm her. His own overload is feeding off hers, and he is more unnerved with every hour.

“You must fasten your seatbelt,” she says again, lower and so fast Eliot can barely make out the words. “Oxygen masks.”

Eliot has heard Parker have echolalic happy stims before, but they're usually singsong repetitions of old memories, not this harsh whisper.

He tries to think again of how he could help her, but he can't think of anything. He's turned off the air conditioning above their heads hours ago, and there is nothing to be done about the noise and vibrations of the plane, or the proximity of their bodies. He has no idea if the overhead light is even on, and he's doesn't have the energy to ask Hardison and field his questions. All he can think to do is to take off the bracelet he has been unconsciously fiddling with for most of the trip and hand it to Parker, who latches onto it.

Eliot finds himself bereft without it, suddenly hyper-aware of his own hands that have nothing to hold on to. He runs them a few times through his hair, but he can feel Hardison's gaze on him. Instead, he fidgets with his seat belt, feeling self-conscious.

Parker is moving more and more anxiously at his side, occasionally elbowing him, but Eliot doesn't dare try to touch her. It's unlikely that she would react well at this point. He tries to stay as still as he can be until the plane finally touches down.

Eliot has no choice but to let Hardison guide him out of the airport, though he would like nothing more than to let go of his elbow, the touch almost burning his hand. Parker grasps his arm once they pile up in the taxi, and he grits his teeth throughout, though he won't shake her off because it seems to calm her minutely.

“I don't have a dog or a cat. No no,” Parker says for the third time in their taxi ride, gripping Eliot's forearm so tightly it hurts. He lets her, though he wants little more than to get away from everyone. “More bubbles.” Everyone else just ignores her.

Nate and Sophie leave the moment the cab drops them off at the office. They each have their car parked in the underground parking lot, so they head off together with a 'goodnight' and an agreement to take tomorrow off.

Eliot decides he's too tired and overloaded to attempt the walk to his place right now, and resigns himself to sleeping in his office. Hardison says he has to do some digital wrap-up he was not able to finish on the airport's unsecure wifi, and Parker seems too far gone in her own world to take the initiative to go home, so the three of them find themselves taking the elevator together.

Eliot and Hardison don't even bicker on the way up, which says something about how exhausted they are. Eliot goes into his office without bothering with more small talk and firmly closes the door behind him, hoping that Parker will take the hint and leave him alone. It looks for a while like she has, as he only barely hears her chatting away at Hardison in the meeting room while he sets up his sofa bed and goes to find a pillow and a blanket. His neck and leg have not appreciated the long hours in a cramped seat and he's hurting enough to pop a few painkillers along with his other medications before he settles in to sleep, still fully dressed but for his shoes and ankle splint.

He is still awake, though barely, when Hardison pounds on his door half an hour later.

“What?” he grumbles, sitting up and pushing the blanket away.

Hardison opens the door. “It's Parker. I don't know what to do.”

He sounds panicked enough that Eliot is immediately on his feet.

“What happened?”

“I don't know. She was bouncing off the walls and talking louder and louder, so I snapped at her and suddenly she was huddled in a corner rocking and banging her head on the wall.”

Eliot sighs. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!' Hardison exclaims. “I didn't mean to do anything wrong, I just told her to please stop banging on the table!”

“No, I meant afterwards. Did you try to touch her?”

“I tried to stop her from hitting her head, but she flinched away and started moaning, so I kept away from her. She didn't seem to hear me when I talked to her.”

Eliot steps into the conference room ahead of Hardison, doing his best not to limp too badly without his splint. He can hear Parker making low humming sounds in the far corner.

He doesn't try to approach her just yet, and instead taking a moment to take in the room's atmosphere. With just the three of them in the sound-proof room, it's fairly quiet but for the low hum of the computer equipment.

“How much light is there in here?” he asks in a whisper.

“The lamps over the table are on, and the screens,” Hardison answers.

“Turn the screens off. And can you dim the lights?”

“Done.”

“Good. Now is her stuff around?”

“Her bag's in the corridor, but she hasn't opened it yet so I don't know what's in it.”

Eliot shakes his head. The situation doesn't quite warrant betraying Parker's privacy like that, though she routinely goes though their stuff. “Can you look on her desk for anything that looks like a toy or jewelry?” he asks instead.

“Sure,” Hardison says, sounding puzzled.

Eliot hears him walk away. He approaches the Parker-shaped sound shadow huddled in the corner of the room, keeping his movements slow and his hands away from his body. He crouches in front of her, far enough that he doesn't look like a threat. He tries to think of what would work best, and remembers how Parker hung onto his arm for most of the trip back.

“Okay, Parker,” he says quietly. “I'm gonna try something. Is it okay to touch you if I squeeze hard?”

Parker stills her rocking a bit. Eliot waits, with his hands still clearly visible at his sides. After a while, she groans something that sounds vaguely like a 'yes'.

Eliot rubs his fingers together, trying to get a good echolocation beacon sound without making any noise likely to set Parker off. He doesn't want to miss and touch her in a way that would feel bad, so he tries to judge the space between his hand and her arm as closely as possible and grips her shoulder tightly. Despite her slender frame, her shoulder feels well defined and muscled, not surprising given how much time she spent hanging off buildings.

She tenses at first, then relaxes minutely under his touch.

“Does that feel good?” Eliot asks. She hums. “Do you want to try a hug?”

She doesn't react at first, but Eliot gives her time to process his question. After a few seconds, she makes another vaguely positive sound. Without changing the pressure on her shoulder, Eliot shifts so that he's sitting on the floor, in position to get his other arm behind her back without brushing against her. He squeezes her tightly, and she moves fully into his arms.

“That's all I found,” Hardison says, coming back into the room.

He still sometimes forgets that Eliot can't see. “What is it?” Eliot asks as quietly as possible over Parker's shoulder.

“Sorry, it's a spinning top. The only other things she has in there are her harnesses and her plant.”

“Alright,” Eliot says. “It should do. Just spin it where she can see it.”

“How is it supposed to help?”

“Shh. We can talk later.” Eliot doesn't feel comfortable talking about Parker like she's not there, and the sound of their voices might still set her off.

“Should I leave?” Hardison asks, sounding like it's the last thing he wants to do but he's willing to for Parker's sake.

“Maybe just go into another room?” Eliot says, feeling incredibly thankful the other man is so compassionate.

He keeps holding Parker until his arms feel tired, and she has dropped her head on his shoulder, exhausted. He doesn't feel much better himself. The top has long stopped spinning, though Parker grabbed it and played with it for a while, but she's finally relaxing enough that Eliot feels it's safe to let go of her.

“Let's get you in a bed,” he murmurs.

Parker doesn't speak as he helps her up and takes her to the already made bed in his office, but she doesn't resist either.

“Do you want me to stay?” Eliot asks her after he's got her settled.

It takes a minute, but Parker finally answers with a whisper. “I'm okay.”

Eliot nods and retreats out of the room. He finds Hardison in his own office, typing away on his computer. He stops when Eliot enters.

“She's gonna sleep now,” Eliot says.

“What the hell was that?” Hardison asks. Eliot tenses at the question, but his friend's voice isn't angry or dismissive, only concerned.

“That's something you should discuss with Parker,” he answers after a beat.

“How did you know? I mean how to handle her like that?” Hardison asks.

“My brother was a lot like her growing up,” Eliot says. He's too exhausted to decide whether he wants to tell Hardison this kind of things, but it sort of blurts out. It feels right.

“He's not anymore?”

“I don't know,” Eliot sighs. “I ain't seen him in ten years.”

He closes his eyes briefly. There are times where the isolation his own choices have imposed on his life still pains him. Staying away from Jake is one of the hardest things he has had to make himself do. Phone calls every few months just aren't the same as having his twin brother beside him.

“So what does the spinning top do?” Hardison asks after a while.

“Spinning motion can be…grounding, I guess. You know how Parker will keep spinning in her chair whenever she can instead of working?”

“Yeah, I've noticed that,” Hardison says, yawning. “I'm done with the wrap-up. I was thinking of heading home, but what should we do with Parker?”

“She's probably asleep, and I don't wanna wake her now. I'll stay, you go home. We have tomorrow off, so I'll get her home in the morning. She should be better by then.”

“More like later this morning, it's almost two a.m. You sure you don't want a ride home?”

“Nah, I don't wanna leave her alone,” Eliot says.

“She's in your sofa bed, though, isn't she?” Hardison asks.

“It's fine, I'll just sleep on Nate's couch.”

“Okay. You need anything else?”

“Help me find a blanket? Parker's got mine,” Eliot says.

“Sure.”

They find a blanket in Nate's office. Eliot knows Nate often passes out drunk in the office, though he usually arranges not to be there when it happened. Unlike him, Eliot only ever sleeps in the office when it's absolutely necessary, though he invested in a comfortable pull-out couch from the start.

“Eliot?” Hardison says in an hesitating tone as he picks up his bag to leave.

“Yeah?”

“Back there, when Parker found the children at the orphanage…she was worried that if we put them in the system, they would turn out like her.”

Eliot sighs. Does Parker not even know what she is? No, she has to know. Growing up in bad homes has certainly left its marks on her, but it's more than that. Does she really hate herself so much that she would have rather leave children in the hands of arms dealers than risk them growing up to resemble her?

“What did you tell her?” he asks, rather than answering the question Hardison has not voiced.

“That I like how she turned out,” Hardison says.

Eliot suddenly feels a tightness in his chest. Hardison, however annoying he can be, is a good friend, but friendship only goes so far. This kind of unconditional acceptance is much harder to come by. Eliot is so grateful that someone can give that to Parker that he almost wants to hug him.

“Good,” he says simply, turning away.

Hardison leaves after hesitating for a while on the doorstep. Eliot sticks his head in his office to check that Parker is sleeping.

He feels drained. Nate's couch is nowhere near comfortable, which he supposes is Nate's twisted religious way of punishing himself when he wakes up on it with a hangover. Hardison hasn't found any pillow and Eliot's neck is screaming at him. He elects to sleep flat on his back to minimize the pain, but it means his legs don't fit on the couch and dangle over the armrest. In the end, he curls up on his side in something resembling a fetal position, his arm under his head to keep his neck from cramping, the edge of the couch digging into his thigh.

It's been a really long week.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to have three parts, expanding around the next two episodes. Maybe I'll get around to writing that at some point, but right now I'm marking it as finished.
> 
> Please tell me what you think! Comments make me warm inside.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at [emma-arthur](https://emma-arthur.tumblr.com/) (multi-fandom blog)


End file.
